WATCH ME FUCK MYSELF IN FRONT OF THE WINDOWS

." She pauses.Takes in my new look. "Glad to see you back in school so quickly."There is some snickering. She glares at the loudest of the snickere...s.She just moves on and calls Denise's name, Denise Butcher, and moves onto the C's. I continue to read my text book. The bell rings and I havesurvived my first class period. There is lot of whispering and somegawking as I walk to Earth Science class. I just showed up in a dress,the seventh grade isn't really a bastion of maturity and. ” Stacy R said.“What makes you say that?” I asked.“Listen, what I asked of you last night ... it was out of anger ... misguided anger at that ... You can disregard it.” She said.“What’d she ask of you last night?” Sabrina asked.“I’ll explain after he explains how this all got started and what happened ... if he wants to that is.” Stacy says.“Well since we’re all laying cards on the table here...” I sighed. “I lost my virginity on Wednesday...” I started.I took a deep breath.“The girl who I lost. I’d tried to date my freshman year at St. Joe Valley, but all the girls insisted that their fathers wouldn’t let them date until they were sixteen. I found out many years later that wasn’t always the case, but up until this point I’d never deliberately escorted one girl to an event of any kind. Mom scowled when I asked her and got on the phone to Ross’s parents to confirm that there was really a party and that I was invited. How embarrassing! But finally, she agreed to drive and pick us up at. The child, the woman, she, her… all being me. Sweet Jesus I wonder when I stopped caring. Why did I give up my fight? I wonder why I can’t see the light that is suppose to shine at the end of every tunnel? How did a woman so young in years grow to feel to empty and old? Jaded. I hide myself from friends for days on end, fearing they will see what I see when I look in the mirror. I shun my family for giving me the memories that have formed me into the person that I have become. I wonder what.
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