’ He switched to a Bluetooth headset and went back to work. For the next hour and a half he listened while Eric castigated himself for losing contro... and surrendering to temptation. A thought occurred to Philip, what Eric needed was a master, or mistress, or whatever. He needed someone to take absolute control over him just as he had done with Mei, but even more unconditionally. Someone who would assume 24 hour supervision who wouldn’t let him eat, sleep, or even think on his own. The only. That was that.It was a dissonant experience though. People were concerned for me which I’m glad of. The part that confused me was they were acting like this was some sort of major painful injury. I didn’t say anything but I was thinking “Haven’t any of you felt real pain before?”. It hurt. I would prefer not to do it again on general principles. I was concerned with actual structural damage I may have suffered. The pain on the scale I use was maybe a 4 or 5 out of 20. It will get your attention. From the depths of my sole, I began to cry. Heart-wrenching wails escaped my lips as I wallowed in my loss. Suddenly I thought of Scott, and what he had lost. He had lost me, and the wonderful life we'd planned together. Again, the cry of self-pity escaped me as my mind groped for something that would help me understand."Cry all you want," I heard mum say, as her hand rested gently on my shoulder.I hadn't realised there was anyone with me, and I opened my eyes, trying to focus through the. “That’s how you do it, Will,” she said, and followed Murph to their table.We ate, talked with people, mingled with the other guests – except for Lori, who studiously avoided me all day. Then there were speeches; and finally time for the dancing. This time, I didn’t make a mistake with the words to ‘I Knew the Bride’, everyone enjoyed the dancing. When we took a break, Jack and Chris Earle came over to talk with me.“It’s great to see you, Will, we haven’t seen you for quite a while,” Jack.
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