Helpline here ... What’s the problem?”Customer: “I’m in the Outback with the girlfriend and she’s been stung on her thigh by a hornet and no... her vagina has completely closed up!”Australian Telephone Operator: “Bummer!”Customer: “Great advice! Thanks mate, bye.”These are compliments of Gary H.Disturbing Beer News.Yesterday, University scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer. "I could hardly argue I was as hard as iron again already."It's not what I want," I argued."Really?" she queried as her fingers trailed along my shaft."I want anonymous basic sex." I explained, "Not some mad affair, a one week stand." A week!" she exclaimed, "You're lucky to last ten minutes so put it in me before it explodes again." Pattie!" I protested and she rolled over on to me."Do you want me on top?" she asked."No!" I replied but , "Oh why not, you do some work for once." I demanded and. After one of our more… energetic evenings,” she explained.I was beginning to think that the playfulness of the night before might not have been such a great idea. I remember kidding about jealousy, but now it was there for real. This guy was real and he had the hots for my wife. He’s rich, good-looking, wide shoulders, arms that look like they’re made of muscle, big dick (well, at least that wasn’t in the picture)… and single. And I could tell from the way my Dani was intently scrolling through. She noticed that Tanya was also casting surreptitious glances at her former rival and wondered when someone would break the tension. CJ did just that a minute later, setting her Wine Glass down on the coffee table. ‘Listen girls, this is silly. We all know why we came back here, we’re into each other. So why don’t we stop being coy, go into my bedroom and have some fun? Sound good?’ Raquel smiled and took CJ’s hand as she stood up. ‘Sounds good to me, coming Tanya?’ She asked. ‘Not yet, but.
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